id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
