dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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