Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
