I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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