I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
