How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
