i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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