went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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