So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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