i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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