I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I would fuck him just for his dog
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
