honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Randomize
