Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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