he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
