how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
