i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
