shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
