Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
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