were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
