you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
