you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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