I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
