We're facebook friends in real life
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
