I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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