You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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