hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
