yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
