I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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