Someone shit on the floor
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
