I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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