Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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