Don't you send me to vm
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
