Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
