Ambien. No doubt about it.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
