Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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