I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Randomize
