So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
