i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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