Where is the hickey?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
