The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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