I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
