so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
