It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
