i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
