is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
