I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you would pick up someone in the library
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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