Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
