adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
