my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
