Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
