i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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