Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
