dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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