just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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