Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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