dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Randomize
