I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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